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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23427028">Confessions in the dark</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Big_Blue/pseuds/Big_Blue'>Big_Blue</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The X-Files</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Post-Episode: s06e03 Triangle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 05:34:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,434</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23427028</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Big_Blue/pseuds/Big_Blue</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-Triangle. Mulder needs to talk.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Fox Mulder/Dana Scully</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>70</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Confessions in the dark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>I love you.</em>
</p>
<p>Three words. She had shrugged them off, waltzed out of his hospital, and they pretended it never happened. She had stored those words at the back of her mind with all the other things she refused to think about but, in fact, ALWAYS thought about.</p>
<p>Like how everything else just ceased to exist when she looked deeply into his hazel eyes. How she missed him in the evenings when she was home alone. How she missed him at night. Wanted him. How a touch, however brief, could send sparks flying.</p>
<p>Like how she would sometimes come home from work and all her professionalism went out the window, how she would desperately please herself while she was picturing him there with her, his fingers inside her instead of her own. His mouth on her. But no, of course she wouldn’t imagine him on purpose; he just managed to sneak in her fantasies because he was pretty much the only man, only person, to be honest, she actually spent time with. It was a natural reaction and didn’t mean anything.</p>
<p>Yeah, who was she kidding.</p>
<p>---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p>The ring of her phone jolted her out of sleep. She opened her eyes halfway and fumbled for the receiver. Her alarm clock informed her that it was four in the morning.</p>
<p>“Hello?” she snapped, adding an appropriate tone of pissiness, given the hour, and pretending it could be anyone when she knew just as well it was him calling. Who else would it be.</p>
<p>“Hey,” he said casually, and, after a pause, “did I wake you?”</p>
<p>“Mulder, it’s 4 a.m.,” she answered with a sigh.</p>
<p>“I couldn’t sleep.”</p>
<p>“Well, I could just fine, until now.”</p>
<p>There was a slight pause.</p>
<p>Then, “I meant it, Scully.”</p>
<p>“Meant what, Mulder?”she retorted, although she somehow knew exactly what he was talking about. She had a sinking feeling in her stomach and tried to reason it was just one of his usual late night phone calls.</p>
<p>He didn’t answer. Instead, there was a knock on her door.</p>
<p>Another one, louder this time.</p>
<p>“Scully, open the door.”</p>
<p>She let out a grumble, and, while already swinging her legs off her bed, asked, “why don’t you just use your key?”</p>
<p>His only reply was another knock.</p>
<p>She sighed in defeat, padded to her front door, turned the knob and opened up.</p>
<p>There he was, casually dressed and looking like he had never even gone to bed at all that night. He was still holding his phone to his ear.</p>
<p>Whereas she was in her pajamas, her hair slightly tousled from sleep.</p>
<p>He pocketed his cell and stepped in, having a serious look on his face.</p>
<p>“What do you want, Mulder?” Scully asked tiredly.</p>
<p>Something was off. He was gazing at her intensively, and there was a tension in the air that was slightly uncomfortable. She suddenly felt exposed, vulnerable.</p>
<p>She crossed her arms over her chest and stared back at him in an almost defiant manner, irritated by his behavior and the sudden sleep interruption.</p>
<p>“Why don’t you trust me?” he finally demanded, a slightly hurt expression stealing over his face.</p>
<p>His question caught her off guard. “Mulder, of course I trust you. You know that I do.”</p>
<p>“You trust me with your life. But not with your heart.”</p>
<p><em>I want to, </em>she thought. But she remained silent, watching him, her sense of unease increasing.</p>
<p>His eyes were darker than usual. There was an expression in them she had never seen before; a mixture of agony and determination. Something… predatory. Dangerous, even, although he would never be a danger, not to her. She also detected something she had seen before, but this time, it was much more obvious.</p>
<p>Arousal.</p>
<p>She didn’t want to have this conversation right now, not like this, in those wee hours of the morning, that odd in-between, somehow unreal time when night was preparing to give birth to the day, when it was neither one, not night anymore, not yet morning.</p>
<p>It seemed anything could happen, and it wasn’t that her whole body was aching for him; it was. She had wanted him for so long. But what would happen afterwards? Would she wake up alone, would they pretend nothing ever happened? They were too good at pretending.</p>
<p>“Mulder…” she uttered. She was at a loss.</p>
<p>He stepped closer to her. “No, Scully,” he said with a quiescence that felt to her like the calm before the storm.</p>
<p>“No,” he repeated. “I’m not going to let this one go. We can’t sweep this under the rug. Not this time. We have to… clear this up now, or it’ll break me.”</p>
<p>She felt her heart ache by his confession.</p>
<p>He took another step.</p>
<p>And another.</p>
<p>Time came to a halt. His eyes never left hers, and her breathing quickened.</p>
<p>He stood an arm’s length away from her. A million thoughts ran each other over in her mind.</p>
<p>“Scully,” he said quietly, her name slowly rumbling off his tongue with a finish she could only classify as imploration.</p>
<p>Her resolve crumbled. There was no way she could resist him, she knew it; not with him standing so close, his body heat beginning to weave itself around her in the dim shadows of her living room, his audible inhalation and exhalation, his tenebrous eyes fixated on hers and staring directly into her soul.</p>
<p>“Show me,” she whispered.</p>
<p>A whole encyclopedia of emotions flooded over his face, and she could recognize them all. She felt them just the same. Incredulity. Awe. Wonder. Excitement. Timidness. Desire. Love.</p>
<p>“Scully,” he whispered back, his voice cracking. He took another step towards her and closed the distance between them. He slowly, so slowly lifted his right hand and placed it on her cheek, a touch so gentle it felt as soft as feathers.</p>
<p>With one last look into her eyes, he silently asked one last time for her permission, and she gave the slightest nod. He leaned down for a kiss, his lips parting. She closed her eyes, and it felt like her heart stopped and beat a hundred times a second at the same time. For a millisecond, she wondered how this was possible. But this was Mulder. In an instant, his lips would meet hers, and they would kiss, for the very first time. Of course it would feel miraculous.</p>
<p>And then they did. Their lips touched, tentative at first. His lush bottom lip felt every bit as sensational as she had secretly imagined. She put her arms around him, snaked one around his waist and placed the hand of the other on his neck, pulling him closer. He pressed himself into her while his tongue sought entrance to her mouth which she allowed more than willingly. When their tongues finally touched and engaged in a slow dance, all thought was erased from her head. There was just him, his warm, hard body flush against hers, his mouth on her mouth. His smell and the way he tasted was all but intoxicating.</p>
<p> She started to tug at the hem of his shirt. He placed his hands gently on hers and broke the kiss. She felt the departure of his mouth like a wrench in her stomach.</p>
<p>“Scully,” he managed, breathing heavily. “I so want this… want you… but not like this.”</p>
<p>She felt a pang of disappointment and cast her eyes down.</p>
<p>“Hey,” he said softly, cupping her cheek.</p>
<p>She willed herself to look into his eyes again.</p>
<p>“Scully, I have been dreaming about this… you forever. But let’s… postpone this just a bit, okay? Can I… just hold you?”</p>
<p>She nodded, letting him pull her back into his arms. <em>Pleasedon’tgopleasedon’tgopleasedon’tgo, </em>she thought.</p>
<p>She took a deep breath and sobered a little. He was right. This was going too fast. It was as if he had read her mind a couple of minutes ago.</p>
<p>She took his hand and gave it a squeeze. “Come on,” she said with an almost shy smile. She led him to her bedroom and got under the covers. He stripped to his boxers and slipped in next to her, draping his arm over her and pulling her close. They kissed again, and she rested her head on his shoulder. He was here, actually here, next to her, in her bed, drawing lazy circles on her back through the silk of her pajama top with his fingertips.</p>
<p>It was exactly where he was meant to be.</p>
<p>“Mulder?” she mumbled, her eyes closed, on the verge of drifting to sleep.</p>
<p>“Mhm?” he managed, almost asleep himself.</p>
<p>“I love you, too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I totally meant to let them do the wild thing at the end. But it just didn't feel right.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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